February 9, 2010
Dear family and friends and visitors,
I had just written a letter for the website, to tell you that I was still waiting to hear from the Executive Clemency Bureau. Then on January 22nd, I received legal mail. My fingers touched the envelope and I knew I was not getting the response I wanted. Since December 31st, which is usually when the governor of New York State makes his announcement in regard to clemencies, my mind has been anxious with expectations and fears. Unfortunately, the governor has not granted clemency to anyone this year. When I applied I thought that someone would get good news because it is an election year. I certainly do admit that the experience of applying for executive clemency, the hopefulness and the months of waiting have imposed upon my resilience. But I want to assure all of you that I am fine.
I am forever grateful for the outpouring of support that I received. Letters from doctors, housewives, businessmen and women, students, and even officers from both Bedford and Albion prisons. Several petitions were created and filled with signatures as the months passed. I received letters of support from justices in the Supreme Court. Many high court justices have recommended my release, due to the actual role I played, or rather, did not play, in this crime. Also, the Honorable Judge Rosenblatt from the United States Court of Appeals was prepared to speak on my behalf, regarding the fact that the law I was sentenced under no longer exists.
Honestly, I have never believed that I am guilty of a crime. Or that an eternal period of punishment will pay for a debt that I have incurred. There is no denying a horrible crime was committed, the loss of a precious life. It remains with me each day that I was a passenger in the car that caused that tragedy on February 2nd, 1985. But I was the passenger, and I was unconscious.
I feel angry at the moment. I will not get into the legalities involved here because there are too many and it would create confusion, I think. But yes, I am angry. Guilt endangers choice, unlike innocence and the gifts it bears. A mind that adopts guilt becomes vulnerable, disempowered and easily led. This world that I have lived in for the past twenty-three years is designed for the guilty.
There is a great struggle inside me. I am desperate for freedom. So I have decided to approach my situation from another direction. I am submitting a petition for re-sentencing. I will do something I vowed never to do. I will plead guilty to this crime, a crime that both God and I know I did not commit. I will petition the court for time served – for a plea of guilty.
I consider myself able to choose. I have learned that I do not have control over what happens in the world around me. I do have control of my own decisions. And because my nature is Light, I will someday triumph in my pursuit of freedom. I believe this. Truly.
Letters are not allowed to accompany this motion. So I am asking for your heartfelt prayers. Please. If you have the time in your daily lives, then please pray for me and keep me in your thoughts. Thank you so much.
I wish all of you a happy and healthy new year. A very special thanks to everyone who took the time to write letters and create and sign petitions on my behalf. You are forever in my heart.
Mona Graves
